Proud moment

My husband likes food. He eats what I make. He gets treats from work. But he doesn't LOVE food like I do. When I eat a great bite of food, I dance. Literally. I sway in my seat. I recognize when something is well made. He may notice the charcol, but it doesn't change his appreciation for the dish.

So when he asked me the other day "What were you going to make for dinner anyway?" ( I think he thought I didnt have enough time to make dinner before he left for school and so assumed I forgot)

I respond with "Egg McMuffins"

And Jameson's face breaks into a grin with a surprised "Oh!...." I know I have a happy husband and I chose the right thing.

Woot!

Water gives me heartburn

Everything gives me heartburn. And we're not talking the mild "oh, that is uncomfortable". We are talking about some invisible hand punching through my esophagus to grab somewhere near the middle of my high upper back and squeezing everything on it's way into a used tissue. Ouch.

I've realized how much I need this blog lately. I've been overloading my facebook with needy status updates and hasty pictures searching for some outside connection when really all I have to do is post here!

But enough about me.

 This is my sweet love teaching Chloe to make pizza dough. She got to try most everything going into it and help Daddy put it together :) She loves helping in the kitchen. And she doesn't love straight salt. Did ask for more sugar though.

 Like I said... tried most everything. Jamie is a dough boy, so I wouldn't be surprised if she inherits that from him. Especially with all this guidance. What do you think of the beard? I think he pulls it off. It looks really grreat on him! Then I look up at the wall and see our wedding pictures and think to myself, I really like him without it... I'm blessed with an attractive husband.

 Something you should know about me... I am obsessed with my daughter's hair. I love it! It is so beautiful! I mean... I catch myself on a nearly daily basis just blown away at how heavenly my daugher looks. Everything about her. I know most Moms probably feel this way. It is just amazing to me to see her grown and learn in everything, but it shows the most in her facial expressions, the light in her eyes, the way she pushes her hair out of her eyes... She just takes my breath away.

 I've been making a realy effort to get pictures of Jameson with Chloe. He is so busy with work and homework that I want it well documented that he was there for his little girl. He took time to play and laugh. I've been apprehensive about Baby boy and Chloe feeling dethroned. So every day I make sure she gets some one on one time with both of us and knows she is and always will be loved.

 Something Jameson is always asking Chloe is "What's this?" Especially when she is grouchy and he is trying to make her feel better. And he always starts with her nose. Eventually we end up with tongue :)

She is big on kisses lately. Which I have to say, I encourage. So sweet to see that cherub run up with lips puckered. We keep it in the family of course... well, we tried. This week she had a playdate and I told her to give her friend Josiah a good-bye hug. She went for a hug, he went for a kiss. He won. HAHAHAHA

 This is my bliss.

 Chloe's "newborn pics" took place much later than most. She was a few months old. Baby boy will be getting newborns done and I've wondered how guilty I will feel. We're different people in different circumstances and I really doubt all the babes will be photographed as often as a first. So, Chloe will probably take the cake on that one, but, they'll all still get plenty of lense face ;) Meanwhile, I take cute "newborn" esque photos of eyes, hair, toes...

 We are the recipients of a very generous friend of my mother's. She is sending us all her boy Chloes. One thing on top was a 2T BYU hoodie. I couldn't resist... and besides, boy's sweatshirts have always been more comfortable. Simply because a boy wore them first. Dont ask me why, it just is. This picture shows a few things. One, her fabulous hair in a messy bun. Two, her in a diaper and sweatshirt. I have a picture of me somewhere from Senior year wearing my gray swimteam hoodie and a swim suit... conditioning!

 

BYU shot. Never been a "bleed blue" kind of person. But there is something about seeing my little girl wearing a sweatshirt from her Daddy's school that just makes my heart beat a little harder :)

 We tried potty training for one day...until 3:30. We were following a fuzzy guideline of a friend's to get it done and over in 3 days. 

 We read books, sang songs, tried the big potty, small potty... and we decided to wait. I chose those days because I was going to have Jamie home. But it was also the weekend my friend had a baby so I left to visit, we found out the baby's gender that day... and well, it just wasn't time.

 Post-bath picture. One of my favorite things about post bath is leaving her in her towel and cuddling for a bit. Best part is? The only person she ever pees on... is Jameson.

 Grandma and Grandpa came to visit for Grandpa's birthday! It was so wonderful to have them both here. I love my family and Jameson is my home. But I miss seeing my parents "between semesters" A LOT.

 Chloe didnt need a lot of warming up time with Grandma once she helped her bounce super high!

 Grandpa on the other hand was given the presents to hand over, the new candy to try... They just needed a few minutes alone. Now Chloe will ask me "What does Grandpa say?" To which the response is a VERY low voice saying "Chlo-e". She says it when asked :) My Dad always told me children found him interesting because he didnt make his voice higher like everyone else does, he intentionally drops it super low to give them something new. She noticed :)

 She would drive her wooden dinosaur between his legs like a cave and thought it was so funny.

 When I think of my Dad and birthdays, I think of one thing: German chocolate cake with the coconut pecan frosting. So, I made it for him :)

 He was such a good sport. Every time we went out to eat we told the servers and he would just roll his eyes. He knows it's out of love.

 We tried to give Chloe bites but she would have NONE of it. So finally we figured out she wanted her own piece. She ate it all.

 I do not believe in "favorite" movies, books, it changes depending on the mood. But by golly she loves her cousin AJ! Living by my sister's family has been a huge blessing for us. Chloe asks to see them by name, talks about them... I love that she is getting to know her cousins.

We do have a family calendar up so she is getting to learn everyone's names. AWESOME idea :)

Chloe freaked out at me the other day, so I painted her toes to get her to sit and calm down. She is pointing to the red toes. The other toes are yellow (her favorite ones to show) and her finger nails are blue. Raising my baby right :)

General Nothingness and Birth Talk

I cant tell y'all how many blogs I have written in my head that just dont make it on to here. Some are about pregnancy, others about Georgia, mostly about Chloe, but they have all been updates. So I think we'll start there and I am going to end with a bit on where I am with July 6th.

We've really adjusted to being here. We like the weather. The traffic is a biznatch, but we really like our apartment, ward, being by family and where we are. I've had one or two breakdowns about student loans or how it's hard to be the one friend in my group not looking into buying a home in the next year or two. But you know, it's okay. I love our home and I love the choices we are making. It is like the moments where you wonder, what if I had done this or that or not gone on that date with my now husband and then you look into your spouse's eyes or catch them doing something sweet, maybe stealing a kiss from your baby and you realize there is no other reality better than the one you are living. No matter how difficult or heartaching it may be.

Jameson is not having a great semester. You know how last semester he came home the first night and twirled me telling me how happy he is to be here in this school and this is what he wants to do? Now... not so much. But we've made this a serious matter of prayer and it was part of our fast today and I feel completely at peace with the direction we are going. He is still working part time for Target and making friends there. Not a dream job, but it is the little boost we need and it does get him out and about. He has also really gotten into a blogging community and has made some friends.

Chloe is living up to the title of "Terribly terrific twos". She has the dramatic flair or throwing herself on the floor or part of the couch and wailing. It is really hard to not bribe or go for the quick fix. I know things that will stop her mid-scream (i.e. Candy hearts, Monsters Inc, chips, etc). Not that any one thing is necessarily bad, but I dont want her to be "programmed" into thinking that candy or electronics will bring her happiness. But when I am doing dishes or frustrated up to my ears thinking of the picture in Lilo and Stitch:

It is hard not to...

Yes. I think of that picture often.

I am doing really well. This pregnancy feels like it is going by really quickly. People say it is because I am busy chasing Chloe. And that could be it. I was working two jobs (one was a day job the other a night) so I dont feel like "busier" is the right word. We're still excited we're having a boy. It has been different in the sense that Chloe we knew her name. We found it she was a girl and it was just the right name of all the girls names we picked. This time around it is name after name being thrown at each other.

I have had a little more anxiety about this baby. He has a CPC, Choroid plexus cyst on his brain so we'll be doing another ultrasound in a month and a half. The doctor says he has never seen one stick around past that point, but you never like hearing about abnormalities. Baby boy was also measuring 22 weeks instead of my 20, so I am a little hopeful he'll grace us with his presence early. But you never know.

On to my main topic of thought these days. My new book, Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way. I am borrowing it from a friend. Two of my friends here have read it and used it as a guide and loved it. Jameson is listening while I read it out loud and he is being awesome. He remembers the parts for the coaches and is willing to do the practices with me. What more could I want? Before starting this book I had a lot of fear. Chloe's birth was complicated. So I have been nervous this one will be too. I've talked to my doctor about it and even though I got an answered prayer that the baby will be okay if I stay with the practice, I have kept a fear that I'll need a C section (nothing wrong with that, I know). But since reading this book, that fear has gone away. I am not saying it wont happen, but this book is teaching me to be more aware of myself and I am really grateful for it.

I am not trying to say that an unmedicated birth is better, especially since I have yet to have one. And I am not looking for people to tell me I am crazy for wanting to try or for people to laugh me down saying "birth hurts like heck" or even praise for doing something hard. This is a choice I have made because with Chloe, I was with a doctor I trusted 100% and who had delievered for several of my family members and knew them. This doctor's practice has a rough record and I dont feel a bond with him. I want to be in control this time and this book is impowering me. I wont feel like a failure if things go differently. But I will know that I have done everything to make this a positive experience despite my previous fear. 

So that is what I'm focused on these days. We're in the market for name suggestions. Some criteria are the names need to be at least 2 syllables and sound good with "Ranck". Surprisingly difficult. Also, it has to be a name that sounds good on a daily basis, not just a name place for a nick-name.