Changes and improvements and goals

Health/Exercise has been a pretty big discussion around here lately. With my inlaws changing their lifestyle/eating style, my sisterinlaw having a baby, my family being their crazy selves and trying to decide if I should keep my gym pass (money guilt)... there has been a lot.

My biggest problem with it, is that I tend to want to go all or nothing. I dont want to ease into a new regime or take it slow. I know what I am capable of, so I want to do what I've done before. Starting over is something I'm not good at. So, I've jumped into it again. My friend did an exercise project where she had several Mommies do a workout from Pinterest to see if they actually work (you can check her blog out here: http://www.momsdofit.blogspot.com/).  I know that isn't the smartest way to do it. I just cant accept anything less than the best. Maybe that's a mental thing from swim team, but I just cant start slow.

So I'm now a Pinterest workout every day, walking with my friend and going to the gym days Jameson is home. I'm NOT saying I'll be running halfs with Mom and Boo, fulls with Bard, or anything in between, but Missy and I will be training together. So I'm looking for a jogger :) It helps that Biggest Loser is on Netflix while I workout at home ;)

Jameson has also been working on some things as well! Stress has really taken a toll on both of our bodies. But, especially Jameson. With it being his name on the desks of the schools, I can totally understand that. So the other morning my lovely went jogging! For those of you that know him, he hates jogging. So I am incredibly proud of him! Especially in celebration of his 25 years! I also think I remember him saying he's stopped drinking soda at work! We're eating a ton more vegetables which has actually lowered our weekly grocery bills, woot woot!

So here is for not waiting for January 1st to start something new and being successful :)

Perfection

There's an oft quoted scripture that says "be ye therefore perfect." Truth to be told, this scripture seems to divide people in two camps: those who take that literally and those who ignore its existence. Some people freak out, thinking that because they aren't perfect this instant they're sentenced to eternal doom. Others sweep it under the rug with a "it must be figurative" statement and carry on with their lives. I feel the truth lies between the two. We're not expected to be perfect, but we are expected to consistently try to improve. And that's where my challenge lies. Too often I get complacent and kind of float on in life (which may be what God's trying to eradicate through the yearly trials). Which makes this little incident a surprise.

My good friend Carly is doing a 30 day blogging challenge. Obviously the goal is to increase the frequency of blogging, giving daily prompts that range from a minute or two to more lengthy ideas. I was looking at the prompts and realized I blog far less than I used to. I also realized that may of these prompts would not work from a male perspective (no, I do not have anything in my makeup bag). As I was searching the internet I found a website called the art of manliness, with a 30 day challenge of its own: 30 days to becoming a better man. With the website title I was expecting a list with much more of a misogynistic approach, but was pleasantly surprised by what I found. The list includes things like defining your core values, cultivating gratitude, write a letter to your father, make a meal, and, naturally, get a straight razor shave.

The list is intensely interesting to me, and whether or not I will actually take the plunge and do an activity a day it did get me thinking of how to improve. Most of the time, when we think of improving ourselves, there are a few things that come to the mind of any given person. These will undoubtedly be the areas they perceive they have the most room to improve. Following this thought, they'll try to tackle their Goliaths and will almost certainly fail. There's a reason that they're having trouble with it, and it's very difficult to change a part of you at the snap of a finger. Very few people have that willpower. We eventually give up after a failed attempt or two, and fall back into our old patterns. My challenge is to find ways to ease into it. There are small ways that we can improve, and as we take these steps the bigger obstacles will appear smaller and more manageable. When thinking of improving, we generally don't think of memorizing a poem (or scripture!) or writing a love letter. But there are things inherent in many activities that will slowly shape us into the type of person we want to be. While the going may be slower, it's no race. As long as we're progressing, we're not staying still and vice versa. So think about it!

Sorry this sounds preachy. It's not my intention. I was just musing over in my head and realized that it may help somebody else as well. I hope it does!

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

I am expecting a card in the mail. This card will say, "This is the official welcome to parenthood." The back will say "You thought you were parents before but you have now earned the privilege of carrying this card".

Here is how we earned the card.

Monday night, well, Tuesday morning at 3 am I woke up from a dream that Chloe was throwing up in her crib. So I immediately went to check on her. She was fast asleep all snuggled up. In her throw up. I've only ever dealt with an awake puking baby and never one that threw up in BED.

*side note* While getting ready to put Chloe in bed hours before, I had the prompting to take off her sheet and put on a mattress pad. It hasn't been on in ages because it is a pain and she's never needed it. But for one reason or another *cough* I felt like I really needed to do it. So for 10 minutes I fought with the mattress never once questioning the logic behind it.

Fast forward.
In true couple fashion I calmly walked back to our bedroom and said
"Jameson?"
*grunt and head lift*
"Chloe is fine, she's asleep, but she covered in vomit. Can you come help me?"
*grunt*

I, very relaxed I might add, walked back into Chloe's room with a wet rag, and started to wipe her off as Jameson came in the room. I handed her over to him, we finished cleaning her off and he went to change her clothes. Very gratefully, I took off the mattress pad and quilts and put on our last mattress pad and quilts (The rest were in a pile by the washer waiting to be washed. Go figure). I rocked her and sang her to sleep in an instant, that girl was tired! I put her down, Jameson leaned in to give her her binky when she turned her head and threw up again! Jameson picked her up to help her not get it on her again and she turned and puked again!

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

New sheets, new onesie and freshly wiped down hair later we put her back in her crib.

We crawled into bed and talked for a few minutes about what just happened and how nice it was we could both take care of it. We were wide awake! But we finally managed to doze 45 minutes later when from down the hall we heard...

*cough*
*gag*
*cou--*

As one we both rolled our opposite ways to

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

This was the last time that night we woke up. I pleasantly came back into existence around 7:45 in the morning. As always, Jameson was already awake but I heard a "coo" only Chloe makes so I swung my legs out of bed. I opened the door and wasn't one step out the door when Jameson said,

"She blew out halfway up her back, can you go start the tub?"

So I directed my second step toward the bathroom and we bathed our little stinky angel.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Celebrating what I am, the only way I know how, being it.

With a show of hands, how many of you have seen Holiday Inn? Good movie. Classic. Well, they sing a song about holidays. And that is what I've been hearing in my head, except instead of "Happy Holidays" It is saying "Happy Mothers Day". But it isn't in the sweet, little African American children in the doorway way. It is sarcastic. It's almost nagging. "Happy Mothers Day...Happy Mothers Day...."

Because Jameson and I both missed fasting last week due to one of us being sick and the other working, we fasted. So as worthy and good it was for us to be fasting, this explains why we had low blood sugar. And we all know how Parnell women get on low blood sugar. Jameson was prepping for dinner (Cheesecake factory lettuce wraps di-vine!) and I got upset with myself. We didnt have enough Rice Vinegar, out of sugar, etc etc. (Btw they ended up fabulous and we're over stuffed).

All this time Chloe is a tornado of ear infection, low fever and energy. Nothing stops this girl. We get to church, and Jameson says he'll watch her until the hour starts. Cause, well, he had surgery on his ingrown toe nail Friday and has a little gimp. Which didnt stop him from agreeing Saturday afternoon to teach the lesson for Priesthood. So. Chloe is with me whilst I try to play piano. She played a lot of bass solo until someone would decide to come up and move her, or the chorister comes over to have her lead.

The next two hours my surgically enhanced (heehee) husband would chase her around, while they passed around Sees candies, cookies, and down the hall, the primary threw a mothers brunch that I was invited to. It wasn't a fast I was having a hard time with though. For that I am grateful.

We somehow made it through Sacrament meeting. Which means my mothers day present was sitting in the chapel alone to listen. I came out later to Jameson telling me Chloe had been screaming so hard she was gagging. We got home and all of us went down for naps. Much deserved naps.

I woke up to Chloe coughing so I walked out to get her out of her crib. She seemed just fine if just a little disoriented. We went into the kitchen to grab her a drink. She hadn't been eating or drinking all day--just little sips or nibbles. She even turned down spaghetti! All of two minutes later I bent down to get her cup heard a different kind of gag/cough and next thing I knew she was throwing up in my hair, down my shirt, down my pants and all over the floor. Cue husband. Not missing a beat he grabbed a towel and started mopping it up. He's awesome and a CNA like that ;)

She screamed for a second but then I stripped her and she ran off happy as a lark. She still really hasn't eaten anything but she's happy (just short wicked and irritable).

So "Happy Mothers Day...Happy Mothers Day to me". I am taking care of a gimpy husband, a sick girl, with throw up in my hair, an old 5k shirt on, stuffed to the rafters with lettuce wraps and a big smile on my face.

Being a Mother is not always glamorous, but every day I am a mother is :)

One step forward

Well, to be honest I've kind of avoided writing anything on our blog for a while. Most of you know why; I didn't get into any of the grad programs I applied to (I'm certain someone will be upset if I don't include this: I'm on a waiting list for Georgia State still. I think). As such, I wasn't sure if I wanted or trusted myself to put any thoughts and feelings on the internets for the world to read. I kind of shelled up a little, and even posting quotes for Facebook statuses became a little difficult. Not too much else mattered to me. The thought that I might not get into a grad school was one that presented itself to my mind at fairly frequent intervals, but one I always shoved to the side and ignored because obviously that wouldn't be the case. Seeing that scenario come to fruition was a little kick in my life's stomach. My main question wasn't why did this happen (though I did think that) but rather: what do I do now? Most of you probably are now admiring me saying how mature I am, but let me stop you there. That was not a forward looking question, but rather a despondent look back.

Grad school has always been what comes next for me. It boggles my mind that some people are actually done with their schooling after a four year Bachelor's; I get envious sometimes of them. But that's not the point. The point is that I have a lot more to go to get to my goal. I'm working at about the best job I can have here with my degree, and we're definitely under the poverty line. In short, this isn't how I'm going to live forever. So when the reality that this will wait yet another year hit me, it was devastating. I couldn't understand it; I had good grades and a GRE score that could almost get me into the Ivy League schools. I wasn't the happiest. Becky's done a great job with keeping everything upbeat, and she is no end of inspiration to me. She helped me through it. And now I'm on the other side.

I don't want this to seem like a depressing blog. I just want everyone to know what's been going on. I'm back in the good now. I'm moving forward. I've been trying to keep in touch with some people at the school's I've already applied for and I've searched a lot for schools that are still accepting applications. The possibility of us going is still there. But then again, there's the possibility of us not. And that's okay.

It's interesting how quickly I forget about blessings. When life is good, it's obvious that God is in control and directing my life. I look back and I can see that. The problem is that I can't seem to remember this fact when I'm in the middle of trials. This isn't the first one I've had. I was in this exact same position last year. I didn't get in a school, then I applied for another and did, and then wound up turning it down for no apparent reason because I felt like I shouldn't be there. The very next day we went to visit our friend Aleece and she introduced me to this job prospect. There were so many unknowns. I signed up for a class that eventually took almost 600 dollars to complete with no promise of a job at the end. I was working overnight, getting a couple hours of sleep and then driving for an hour to this class where I'd spend over 10 hours a day. It was rough stuff. But in the end it turned out to be exactly what we needed. Thanks to that step we've had vast improvements in our marriage, Becky's had quality friends, and I've started keeping in better touch with people that I hadn't spent much thought on before. Now here we are. Who knows what lies ahead; whether we'll make it into a smaller school, whether this job prospect in Seattle will work out, whether we're still needed here in Utah where I'll eventually be the best man at my friend's wedding, whatever. What matters is that I'm finally facing the direction that everyone's been telling me to face: forward. And it looks good.