Ramblings pt. infinity

I'm reading Les Miserables at the moment. Well, not this second, but you get the idea. Anyway, it's been a long process and I'm still not even close. I started somewhere around two months ago and I am a quarter of the way through the book. Despite this, I am a reader. I love it. How else would you explain me reading (and highly enjoying) this book on my own? It's a dense read, but every now and then there are beautiful gems in there. Such as this quote that I read an hour or so ago:

"It has been calculated that what with salvos, royal and military politenesses, courteous exchanges of uproar, signals of etiquette, formalities of roadsteads and citadels, sunrises and sunsets, saluted every day by all fortresses and all ships of war, openings and closings of ports, etc., the civilized world, discharged all over the earth, in the course of four and twenty hours, one hundred and fifty thousand useless shots. At six francs the shot, that comes to nine hundred thousand francs a day, three hundred millions a year, which vanish in smoke. This is a mere detail. All this time the poor were dying of hunger."

This got me thinking. Normally I stay out of any sort of discussion about budgets (unless it's about our household) and politics, but I honestly started thinking of what better uses of resources there are out there than a lot of what we do. I mean, surely there are useless traditions or something that can be cut out. But what do I know? I'm just a citizen with zero knowledge of economics.

At work a therapist Scott was kind of addressing this same issue. He noticed that people try desperately to raise money to find cures for diseases that affect a very small percentage of the population while widespread problems go ignored. His example was dysentery: there are plenty of ways to treat it and plenty of people affected. Why does the government grant millions to research new technology and cures when they don't even use the ones they have? At the time I kind of laughed it off, but thinking about it now it kind of makes sense.

I am rambling. I know it. I'm not trying to make any sort of point. Maybe just an urge that there are people out there who need us and there are ways we can help if we just look outside of ourselves and break our routines every once in a while. We may be surprised by what shows up.

Why today is a success

It is 11:22 in the morning and I already know that when I am lying in bed and about to fall asleep I will be at peace because I was successful today.

Want to know how? I accomplished 3 things:

1.Fell asleep cuddled with Chloe on the bed
2.I made the bed
3.My kitchen table is back to normal from family dinner last night.

I'm not running around putting all the dishes in the cupboard or back in their boxes. I'm not stressing about the fact that our bathroom reeks of mold. I am not crawling behind Chloe picking up everything she discards and I am not putting on my makeup. But I have accomplished something bigger.

I took a nap with my sweet baby girl curled up next to my chest with the sweet smell of heaven rising from her face. I made the bed so now when I walk by the door the room looks clean. I wont think about everything else I have to clean because that one spot and my kitchen table look good. I have areas of peace.

I may be sick, I may be tired, I may be missing my husband today, but I am keeping grounded and celebrating the victories I have won. Because at the end of this day, this is what matters:

Catch up

Jameson and I took a trip to Seattle for a friend's wedding reception a long time ago and I'm only just now getting to posting about it. I was waiting to post until I got pictures but they aren't on my camera and I'm at a loss at to where Jameson's is.

It was an awesome and much needed vacation. I got to spend the whole time with Ma and Papi. Wow, I should've done this sooner. I cant remember it all clearly. The first day Mom let us go to my favorite Thai restaurant. YUM! The best part is their what we call, kitchen-sink soup. Oh man... Chloe loved it. She got attention all day long. She started to sleep all night long while we were there. Something magic about parents homes. She was already rolling from front to back and back to front but it was there she really perfected rolling around. Ma and Papi also let me cook them dinner! I made them our new favorite dinner of chicken parm. Mom got pictures of it, so I'll have to post them from her camera when I see her next. They also got some cute family pictures of us for the family collage on the fridge. We have copies of those, so I'll get those up.

Now, speed up a few months.

We're in our new place. It is very much a work in progress. Jameson is gone all day and we're so happy to relax together at the end of it so things are slow moving. Chloe is climbing and crawling everywhere so unless she is napping, I dont get much done. I did find a store close, so I can walk about 1.5 to Walmart when I need something.

We've had lots of false alarms. But this time I really have seen it. The first tooth. She has gotten very protective of her mouth so I knew something was different. Today it looks like it has broken through so hopefully she is feeling a little better. I am the assistant manager here, so I work every other Saturdays as well as clean the halls every week. The cleaning gig is new, but it is another $200-250. I just want to keep doing what I can, you know?

My birthday was last week! YAY! It was awesome. Jameson let me sleep after Chloe woke up and ate. Then we realized the Relief Society Presidency were coming to meet me in 15 minutes, so I took a quick shower and cleaned a little. For lunch Jameson took me to Chipotle. What a loving loving husband :) Then we went to Target to buy my birthday meal ingredients. He sent me off to the gym! I got to do my thing and come home to a home cooked meal of Alice Spring chicken (we make it with pepper jack cheese instead) and asparagus fries. Then he hustled me down to Provo where his sweet siblings set an evening aside last minute for me. Jameson made me a cake, they sang to me too! Jessica and Adam got me a movie date :) Reeses, M'n'Ms and a gift card to RedRobin...yuuumm. (Needless to say Jameson was very happy about their choice in candy and restaurant. Brenton bought me a book on Swiss ball exercises which I'm really excited to try out!

Happy Birthday to me :) This pictures was taken 2 days later, but it is my birthday picture.

The truth will set you free

NOT

I was having a rather pleasant day. Then I got this:

"Did you start your twitch before 18?"

"Twitch." I've called this time and time again a "spasm". May we all agree that "spasm" sounds less disturbing and distressing.

It was followed up with "You could have chronic motor tic disorder. It's like tourettes without the vocal part. :)"

My husband thinks I have tourettes.

Who needs it?

It's been whispered under breaths, but I'm here to lay the rumors to rest: I am an idiot.

The reason? I never listen to what my body says.

You see, I honestly think sleep is a waste of time. People are always shocked when they hear this because they LOVE to sleep, but I really don't. My sleep goes as follows: I get tired, fall into a mini coma, and wake up generally still tired. What a waste of a night! Think of all I could be doing. I mean, none of it would be productive (I would probably just read and play several hours worth of video games) but it would be great. But instead I am unconscious.

This is also one of the reasons I hate naps. Let's take today for example. It's almost 1:30. We got home from church a little over an hour ago and I've been exhausted with a headache for over half of that. But what am I doing? Writing this. Surfing other blogs. Trying to decide a name for my brand spanking new fantasy football team (it's The Penguins). Chloe is sleeping. Becky is either sleeping or reading in bed. And I'm here.

One of the issues is that I actually got a good night's rest last night. See, if it had been like a month or two ago and I had gotten between three and five hours of sleep there's no way I would be out here. I would be sleeping. But today? I think nine hours of sleep is plenty. In fact, too much. How can I be tired? I slept for nine, have been awake for six, and am exhausted. Becky says it's my body still trying to catch up on what I lost.

In that case, I'm screwed. I'm going to be tired for the rest of my life.